Like many of you, I have been quarantined in my house for the past ten days. I have set up my makeshift home office that moves throughout the day. My wife, on the other hand, is an ICU nurse: three to four days a week, she has been working in the very stressful environment that many of our medical professionals are experiencing. Over our four years of marriage, we have realized setting aside intentional time each day for one another is vital for our marriage. As we endure this pandemic, that intentional time has become even more necessary as we deal with the uncertainty, tension, worry, and fear building up over the day. One of the resources that my wife and I use to structure our time with each other is 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8.      
 
Throughout our twelve-year relationship, 1st Corinthians has been something we have continually turned to in both times of joy and struggle. Whenever this passage is read at Mass or during a wedding, I always feel a significant poke in the arm when “love is not rude” is proclaimed. Besides that subtle reminder from my loving wife, this passage always directs us back to our common call to love and support one another, especially during challenging times like today. Every family has had to endure this pandemic differently. However, we all share a call to set aside time to support our spouse, reminding them that our love—when it is centered on Christ and directed towards each other—can endure all things.
 
Due to the stresses of family life, intentional time for prayer and each other are usually the first activities to go. While we dated across states, we made sure that our relationship included intentional time, eventually becoming a virtue of our relationship. When we married and began living under one roof, we assumed this time would happen automatically, but reality was the opposite. My wife’s schedule as a night nurse and mine as a pastoral associate meant our schedules were never in sync. We noticed our interactions becoming superficial, which caused us to easily become frustrated with each other and unaware of what the other was experiencing throughout their day. It took us almost six months to realize that even though we were living under the same roof, we had to be more intentional about our one-on-one time with one another.
 
Pope Francis emphasizes couples setting aside this intentional time in his Apostolic Exhortation, The Joy of Love, “Time is needed to talk things over, to embrace leisurely, to share plans, to listen to one another and gaze in each other’s eyes, to appreciate one another and to build a stronger relationship...” (24). For my wife and me, this passage reminds us of how important setting distractions like our phone or TV aside for even 5 minutes, looking each other in the eye, and being able to share the highs and lows of our days is for our marriage. Pope Francis provides every couple the reminder that the love that is shared between spouses is ever-growing and takes the work of both partners to refine it.

This meaningful time is more important during these weeks of quarantine, with the disease’s impact on the nation and our own family and friends, leading us to despair about the future. Too easily, we can let fear get the best of us, causing tempers to flare or directing emotions at our spouse or families. Like my wife and I when we first married, this intentional time will not automatically happen now that we are forced to be under the same roof. I would like to share some resources that my wife and I have personally found helpful throughout our relationship to support each other emotionally and spiritually. Hopefully, they will provide some structure to this time with your families, provide solace during these weeks, and become habits you will carry on after this pandemic passes.

• Highs and Lows: Share with your spouse one high and one low of your day. This might sound like a cheesy icebreaker, but when you are short for time, this is a great way to check-in with your spouse and acknowledge their day. This is even more crucial now in order to check in on how your spouse is handling the emotional strains of the epidemic. These conversations can also provide a doorway to an even more in-depth conversation.
  
  
• Appreciation and Apologies: Share with your spouse one thing you appreciate about them and one thing you are sorry for doing. True love for another person is displayed in the small daily sacrifices that one spouse does for another. Many times, those sacrifices can go unnoticed.  By showing our appreciation, we can acknowledge the little moments of intimacy that take place every day. The inability to forgive can cause tensions to compound within a relationship, leading couples to feel disconnected from one another. As Pope Francis explains, “in our families when some­one realizes that he or she did something wrong and is able to say ‘Sorry!’, our family experienc­es peace and joy’. Let us not be stingy about using these words, but keep repeating them, day after day.”[1] By identifying the wrongs we have committed, we can rekindle joy and peace in our relationship.  
  
  
• The Marriage Minute: The Marriage Minute is a free email newsletter from The Gottman Institute that will improve your marriage in 60 seconds or less. Over 40 years of research with thousands of couples has proven a simple fact: small things often can create significant changes over time. It is a resource of tools, articles, videos, exercises, and more, all founded on Drs. John and Julie Gottman’s four decades of research and clinical experience delivered straight to your inbox. Their goal is to teach you one thing each day that will deepen your friendship, allow you to use conflict as a catalyst for closeness, and enhance the romance in your marriage. This has been a significant resource for Tricia and I, providing us with conversation starters to begin our intentional conversations.
  
  
• Lectio Divina with Sunday's Gospel: Breaking open the upcoming Sunday’s gospel together is a great way to identify what God is revealing to you as a couple. Take turns reading aloud the passage. While your spouse reads, listen attentively and focus on “a phrase or word” that jumps out to you from the reading. Once you have both read the passage to each other, share the word or phrase that jumped out to you and why you feel it is important to you.
  
  
• Seven Day Virtual Marriage Retreats: One of the biggest challenges I hear when working with couples is that they would like to grow together spiritually, but their schedules will not allow them to attend a retreat together. For Your Marriage, an initiative of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has developed multiple seven-day virtual retreats. Try to set aside 30mins each day with your spouse for seven days. You will read about the theme for the day, reflect on a real-life marriage scenario, and think about ways to strengthen your marriage. End each mini-retreat by praying a prayer for married couples. Even if you cannot do the whole retreat together, set some time to go over the reflection questions before you go to bed each night.
  
  
• Discuss Your Spouse's Love Language: Many couples show love in different ways, but ordinarily, it is not in the primary way that their spouse is seeking. When this happens, the love that is given from one spouse can go unnoticed by the receiver, which can cause the receiver to remain intimately unfulfilled. The giver, on the other hand, also walks away unfulfilled due to their effort not being acknowledged. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, helps couples identify their love languages. Click the link above to learn more about each love language and click here to take a quiz to find out your love language. Once you take the quiz, spend some time talking with your spouse about the results.
  
  
• Develop a Love Map with Your Spouse:  John Gottman recommends that one of the best ways for couples to better understand each other is to have them create a love map. He defines a love map as “a road map one makes of one’s partner’s inner psychological world. Love maps are about the partner’s emotion of interest, about feeling known, and about feeling like one’s, partner is interested in continuing to know one.”[2]  By creating these love maps, it will help you develop greater personal insight into each other’s lives and worlds. You can find more information and how to develop your map by clicking the link above.

[1] Francis, Amoris Laetitia,133.
[2] Gottman, “The Natural Principles of Love,” 15. 
​

​As parents in our early sixties, living in household with our 25, 23 and 19 year old adult children is proving to be an interesting challenge during this pandemic. We have successfully transitioned from training six little ones to launching three and sharing our household with the remaining three.  Each of us lives what I consider ‘parallel’ lives under one roof.  We all go to our respective jobs, enjoy our own friend groups, and participate in our specific extra-curricular activities, along with sharing family time together.  It is a state of life that has forged a certain routine that is pleasantly habitable. 
 
Slam dunk us all into the middle of an unprecedented disease that turns our world upside down overnight – and our happy coexistence becomes challenged.  We are forced to adapt to new schedules and new restrictions that we all must willingly cooperate with.  Moving from government recommendations to ‘imposed sanctions’ is met with varying reactions from the five in our household.  Those of us who are easily contented engaging in solitary activities are not so affected.  We find new books to read, projects in the house or the yard, a nature series to watch, extra time to participate in the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, the Rosary and the Mass on tv.  Those of us who are energized by hanging out with our peer group, attending public events, or going out to restaurants and pubs find these restrictions close to being imprisoned. 
 
Our foremost responsibility as parents during this uncertain time is to be very intentional in communicating with our young adults about the ‘rules’ and the ‘whys’ and the ‘wherefores’ of cooperating in a Godly manner to all of this.  We speak daily of the importance of adhering to social distancing and the extra measures of hygiene and disinfecting while allowing our children to express their frustrations, share new information, and ultimately come to agreement to remain steadfast in cooperation when it is difficult.  I can’t stress enough the necessity of speaking daily in a positive manner so that we all help keep each other accountable. 
 
Getting independent, self-sufficient young adults to operate from the same page is most definitely a tight rope act.  I’m accompanying them in a way I never have before. It requires lots of talking and more listening.  It necessitates creative ways of encouraging. Each family dynamic is different, but in my male-dominated household, what I have found brings us together is food.  My plan these days has been to cook, cook, and cook some more! Preparing meals that satisfy and draw us together opens us to sharing our thoughts and feelings and encouraging one another with what we find most difficult.  In our discussions, our adult children share their creative ways they have found to connect with friends and to cope with the temporary suspension of activities they regularly participated in. Our pace of life has slowed considerably.  My job is on temporary shutdown, but everyone else still goes to their jobs on altered shifts with no work meetings.  When they arrive home, I make sure a meal is ready and we talk and pray and relax together.
They are quicker about getting their laundry done, and helping keep common areas of the house disinfected every day. 
 
This altered state of living builds character in each of us.  We are being called to willingly forego engaging in activities we love for the greater good of our fellow man.  Practicing restraint, perseverance, respectfulness, and kindness allows us to grow in holiness that builds up the kingdom of God.  This witness promotes community and joy amidst the pain and devastation that is all around us. 
 
One activity we have purposely not engaged in during this pandemic is watching or reading the news regularly.  We do not watch any major news telecasts and keep apprised of current affairs through government messages and the several medical people in our family.  We choose not to obsess on what is happening hour by hour.  Instead, we focus on praying, eating well, getting extra sleep, playing games, watching movies, reading books, and pursuing our hobbies in our home space.  We essentially have created our own little bubble to weather this storm together while continuing to participate in our normal duties to the extent that complies with social distancing.
 
We are fortunate to live in a digital age where we can access a degree of connectivity through our various devices and remain a safe distance apart.  We were created to be relational. We do not want to live this way solely, but we have the privilege of being connected to others like no other time in history.  So far, in our semi lockdown mode – no one has blown up at another, no one has a crazed look about them, no one has run away!  We are all present and accounted for under one roof amidst significant life changes.  Our home remains a sanctuary of harmony and peace. This altered state of living together is a fruit of ‘grace’ that I believe God is showering on us.  He is equipping us as we pray with the virtues of prudence and perseverance. He is covering us with His balm of peace to behave respectfully and kindly to one another.  I am mindful of my continued dependence on the Holy Spirit’s grace to guide me as a mother. My prayer is for parents everywhere to walk in faith with your children in the will of God and grow in peace and joy together, whatever the circumstances! 
​

“According to a 2018 national survey by Cigna, loneliness levels have reached an all-time high, with nearly half of 20,000 U.S. adults reporting they sometimes or always feel alone. Forty percent of survey participants also reported they sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they feel isolated.” – American Psychological Association. This is a report from 2019 about the rising levels of social isolation and loneliness experienced in the United States. It is not something new, and as days and years progress, it is likely to get worse if we do not act now. So how does the Catholic Church respond to such increasing levels of isolation?

Fortunately, the Church has discussed accompaniment as a solution for a very long time. Most recently, it has been discussed at great length throughout the papacy of Pope Francis and in the recent synod on Young People, the Faith, and Vocational Discernment. As recently as last year, Pope Francis in Christus Vivit talked extensively about the Church’s role in preventing loneliness in young people. Still, as the study above shows, loneliness is not something that only young people experience. Pope Francis talks about the untethering and uprootedness of people in this way:
“We need to make all our institutions better equipped to be more welcoming to young people since so many have a real sense of being orphaned. … To all these orphans – including perhaps ourselves – communities like a parish or school should offer possibilities for experiencing openness and love, affirmation, and growth. Many young people today feel that they have inherited the failed dreams of their parents and grandparents, dreams betrayed by injustice, social violence, selfishness, and lack of concern for others. In a word, they feel uprooted.…The experience of discontinuity, uprootedness, and the collapse of fundamental certainties, fostered by today’s media culture, creates a deep sense of orphanhood to which we must respond by creating an attractive and fraternal environment where others can live with a sense of purpose.” (Christus Vivit 216)
 
So what does this mean for our parishes or for us as Catholics? Each one of us is called to accompany others on the journey of faith. Christ himself modeled this with his disciples and has charged us to do the same. Accompaniment is fundamental to Christianity. It means building an “intentional relationship that is oriented toward a definitive direction of growth in holiness and transformation in the Person of Christ.” To begin, I would suggest first taking a look at your immediate circle of connections. Family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. should be your first group to encounter and accompany because they are the people you organically have relationships with each day. These are the people most likely to open up to you if they are experiencing troubles. Even then, it is essential to listen and provide a connection to Christ and the Church community. The role of accompaniment in giving someone a link to the broader Catholic community is vital, and acknowledging every baptized person’s role in this calling is essential. As the Art of Accompaniment: Theological, Spiritual, and Practical Elements of Building a More Relational Church discusses, accompaniment can serve as a powerful avenue to welcome and keep someone in the Church in ever uncertain times and events in someone’s life. It can lead to a deeper connection to Christ, a fuller integration into the world at large, and a more authentic sense of their mission to serve Christ and the Church (Art of Accompaniment, 19).

Every day there are more and more people who are experiencing isolation, loneliness, and a sense of not belonging. This has only been exacerbated by the current coronavirus pandemic. Current events, personal circumstances such as their health, and many other factors can contribute to feelings of isolation. During this time, I invite you to pray about different ways you can accompany those who are feeling lonely. The Catholic Church can be a refuge in this storm of isolation and meet people where they are. Even if someone is lonely, as one of God’s children, they are never alone, and it is our job as Catholics to remind them of that fact.

For more resources on accompaniment, please click here.
For more resources to accompany you during the coronavirus, please click here.

The other day I drove past a grocery store that had people waiting in line to get inside and stock up on food and other supplies due to the continuing spread of COVID-19. Most of us have seen pictures of empty store shelves devoid of food and medicine as people make a mad rush to make sure they have what they need to self-quarantine for an extended period. 

An equally startling yet vastly different image is that of empty church pews during the numerous Sunday Masses being livestreamed from Catholic parishes around the world. Whereas the emptiness of store shelves suggests the preparedness, albeit over the top at times, of consumers, the emptiness of Church pews suggests the possibility of the Christian Faithful not having the spiritual support which they need during this pandemic. Fortunately, the Church has been through pandemics before, and an examination of our past offers insight for our days ahead.

At the outset of the Bubonic plague, commonly referred to as the Black Death, Europe’s faithful sought heavenly aid to withstand the suffering caused by the plague. Various communities invoked the Blessed Mother and the saints for protection against the plague. One of the most interesting and enduring of such devotions comes from Western Germany where 14 “auxiliary saints” were venerated together as the Fourteen Holy Helpers. 
​
The Fourteen holy helpers were: 

Pious legend tells of a shepherd boy receiving a vision of the 14 Holy Helpers in a field near the German town of Bad Staffelstein. After this, a church was erected on this spot and miraculous healings began to occur on account of the intercession of the Holy Helpers. A shrine church still stands in Bad Steffelstein to this day where pilgrims continue to go and seek the help of the Fourteen Holy Helpers. As this group devotion spread to other countries, new helpers were added for more popular saints in any given region including St. Nicholas, St. Sebastian, and St. Rocco (Roch). Regardless of which saints composed the group of helpers, the people of Europe implored the Helpers’ aid against the harsh symptoms of the Black Death.

Today, the world once again suffers from a pandemic, the outbreak of the novel Coronavirus. Though medicine and science have surely advanced and we know much more about diseases and how they spread than medieval Europeans, maybe those Christian faithful of the past can teach us an important lesson: the lesson of faith and trust in God.

As we adapt our lifestyles to work from home, social distance ourselves, and view Mass via livestream, let us not forget the great cloud of witnesses who watch over us from heaven. May we turn to their help during these challenging times.

Fourteen Holy Helpers, Pray for us! 
​

This current COVID-19 crisis has shaken up the end of the semester even more than most students could have even imagined. Since my university went online through the rest of the semester, so much has changed: events and programs that were being planned since last school year have been canceled; fun outdoor adventures with the onset of spring are postponed; classes have transitioned to completely online settings. The way I would best sum up this time is unexpected significant change. But this change can lead to many ways of unexpected growth while adjusting to this new normal for the foreseeable future.
​
These couple of weeks adjusting to the world of online classes has allowed me to take some time and reflect on the past, present, and future. In college, time seems to fly and changes that occur over time sometimes just seem to pop up. Yet in these weeks of change, time hasn’t been flying by, and things aren’t happening as smoothly, but that’s okay – it’s perfectly fine if adjusting to this new normal takes longer than it may have at college. In my reflecting, a few thoughts stuck with me as particularly helpful in this unexpected journey:
​

1. Recognize it’s okay to feel upset, but find a balance: In the midst of this crazy uncertainty, I am sure many college students, like myself, initially thought about the immediately important things: getting their things from their dorm room, how they were getting home, and what online classes would be like. It was in this time that a friend challenged me to take a few minutes and be present to my actual feelings. Understanding this balance of my feelings was essential to maintaining my self-care while still recognizing the larger perspective.   
2. Have Consistency to a Prayer Routine: At college, it is easier to have routines of when certain faith-based activities are or when there’s a break between classes to find a chapel to pray. Even with so much changing, I have found that finding a new planned prayer routine is an important first step. First, I recommend finding a place at home that can be conducive for prayer – make it your sacred space. Then, try to find a consistent time that works for you. For me, this is requiring some trial and error; I used to try everyday after lunch, but now it’s during a gap in my online classes.. Having this non-negotiable time for prayer can help build a sense of normalcy in your new schedules.
3. Utilize Online Resources: Classes have opened my eyes to the world of online meeting platforms with many great features and purposes. Use these resources outside of just class! I have seen these online meetings used in many great, spiritually empowering ways: Bible studies, rosaries, night prayer, and really any form of prayer group. I also know I miss going to Mass with my friends; these online platforms can also be used to sstream online Mass together.
4. Journal: I have found that journaling can really serve a two-fold purpose. First, as a form of processing, journaling can be a great way of reflecting and can be an avenue for navigating through these uncertain and chaotic times. Secondly, it can be a way to come up with creative new ideas. This is a time when creativity can blossom into exciting ideas for the upcoming year and journaling can help creativity flourish.

From the time this COVID-19 pandemic first began to alter life in February, one particular prayer has been an unending source of peace for me. It is called the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Can you believe we are already in the fifth week of Lent? Personally, this year’s Lenten season has flown by for me. While I have not always held fast to the Lenten observances I chose for myself, I can already see the fruits of the changes I have been able to maintain. This year for Lent, I have begun working my way through the Bible using a program which breaks the Scriptures into easily-digestible daily segments from both the Old and New Testaments.
 
Most of what I’ve read from the Old Testament so far has been very familiar to me—stories from creation to the great flood and Abraham and his successors. But what has struck me, as I’ve slowly progressed through the books of Genesis and Exodus, is the lack of trust that has plagued the human race since its creation.
 
Reading these Bible passages has often left me pondering why mankind struggles so much to trust God. Adam and Eve fell for the serpent’s lies about the forbidden fruit instead of trusting that God knew what was good and appropriate for them; Abraham tried to jumpstart his promised line of innumerable progeny by having a child with his wife’s servant because his wife was supposedly incapable of bearing any children. Today’s first reading, from the Book of Numbers, continues these themes of distrust. “With their patience worn out by the journey,” the Israelites complain that they were rescued from slavery only to be left to die in the miserable desert, and that even the food the Lord has provided them is disgusting and wretched.
 
I have found these particular stories from the Old Testament striking because they ring true for my own life; when I find myself in a difficult situation over which I have no control, I don’t always maintain my trust in God. I feel helpless because there is nothing I can do to change things, or I cannot fathom why things are unraveling in the way that they are. And, like hundreds of generations of the human race before me, I turn to the world first for answers instead of coming immediately to God. I usually end up complaining, and often times I prefer to question why He is treating me this way and do not trust that there is some good to come out of it that I cannot yet, and may not ever, see. In fact, I think this may be the heart of mankind’s trust issues: one of the hardest things for us to do is to have faith in God when we cannot see the whole picture, or do not understand what is going on, or cannot understand what God could possibly mean by calling us in the way that He does.
 
But we do not need to see the whole picture in order to be faithful followers of Christ. We do not need to control the situation in order to get what God promised us. We can use our times of suffering, or times of feeling excluded from God’s plan, to bring ourselves closer to God. Instead of asking God why He has not done more for us, like the Israelites did in the desert, we can ask Him to show us what good our suffering could bring. And instead of trying to put ourselves on a more equal footing with God, like Adam and Eve or Abraham and Sarah did, we can ask God how best we can serve Him.
 
Today, as we continue to navigate the incredibly difficult situations around us caused by the coronavirus, let us place our trust in God once more and turn to him in our time of need. I pray that this may be a fruitful time of growth in your relationship with God and that we may emerge from this time stronger in our faith, hope, and love.

For more resources to accompany you during this time, please visit our Coronavirus Resource page. 
 

On March 7, my husband threw a surprise party to celebrate my 30th birthday. That would be the last time I would physically spend with many dear friends for at least a month.
​
It was at the beginning stages of the coronavirus pandemic when the United States seemed to just barely be grasping what was going on across the Atlantic. We were aware but unafraid. The virus was like the flu. It only affected the elderly and those with compromised immune systems. It wasn’t a big deal. We would be fine.

But around that time, my family began to take the notions of staying home, social distancing, and self-quarantining seriously. Each day brought more news. So we spent time outside. We tried to stay 6 ft apart. We bought a few more groceries than usual. We began to lay low.

Almost three weeks later, I write from home, having gone “out” less times than I can count on my fingers apart from family walks, romps to open fields, or our backyard. No grocery stores. No movie theaters. No social events. No playgrounds. No libraries. No stores. No Masses.

I haven’t had to “try” to make Lent this year somber or serious. Every day is a fast from something I deemed important to my life: a fast from physical friendship; a fast from community in the way I’m used to living it; a fast from outings, from the sheer independence of being able to step out of my house and go where I want to go when I want to. This fasting has been humbling.

Prayer is the rhythm to my day. It is the breath of my days. The heartbeat.

I watch online daily Masses or reflections on the Scriptures. I pray the rosary by myself or with my husband and children. I sing the Divine Mercy chaplet. I continue a novena. I make a spiritual communion with tears in my eyes. I utter supplications for others throughout the day. I offer my fasts—both the voluntary and involuntary—for our world.

At the beginning of this Lenten journey, I shared how I thirsted to emerge from spiritual mediocrity. Now I thirst for God himself. I yearn to join the Body of Christ once again in the sacraments and receive him at the Eucharistic table. I live Paul’s exhortation to pray without ceasing in a profound way.

And yet God has been so good. And peace prevails in my heart. I have so much to be thankful for: continued jobs and paychecks, long days of sunshine and warm weather, our health, food on our plates, a roof over our heads, snuggles with my children, reading books in our indoor tent, video calls with friends and family all over the country. In spite of everything, we are together. In spite of everything, God is here. In spite of everything, there is always hope.

Let us continue to “rend our hearts” this Lent by turning to God and giving him everything we are feeling right now: exhaustion, confusion, anxiety, disillusionment, anger, despair, or fear. We can approach the one who became a vulnerable child for us and give him our own insecurities and vulnerabilities. At the manger, we will be met with his never-ending love.

In his homily for the fourth Sunday of Lent, Fr. Mike Schmitz noted that God did not make an unbreakable world. Though he created perfectly, he instilled in mankind the ability to have free will—the ability to break our relationship with God by introducing sin into the human condition. Death, pain, suffering, temptation—all is the result of sin. This pandemic is more evidence of this truth. What matters, however, in the midst of our suffering, is that God does not abandon us to it—nor has he ever. Scripture recounts the story of God’s unfailing love for humanity since the Fall—a story of salvation that continues personally with each of us today.

God does not promise fulfillment on earth, perfect joy, blessing, and comfort. He promises the cross, daily. But he also promises us that he will be with us always—even to the end of time—that he came to give life in abundance, that we can be transfigured, and that there is resurrection.  He invites us to complete satisfaction and joy with him in Heaven for eternity.

And in the meantime, as we continue on our own personal journeys in this “vale of tears,” he remains waiting for us at the well. Inviting us on the shore. Looking for our return on the horizon. Feeding us at the table. He remains pouring out all for us on the Cross.

He remains.

As we continue to navigate this Lenten season, the coronavirus pandemic, and the approach of Easter, let us go to him with humble hearts. “Let us allow ourselves to be loved, so that we can give love in return. Let us allow ourselves to stand up and walk towards Easter. Then we will experience the joy of discovering how God raises us up from our ashes.” -Pope Francis (Ash Wednesday Homily, 2020)
​

A month ago, I thought I would be balancing returning back from a service immersion trip and student leadership interviews. Today I sit in my makeshift home office preparing for my next Zoom call, trying to keep in check my own anxieties while still ministering to my students. To be honest, the first week was not easy, and I have still not mastered ministry from home and social distancing. As the days continue, I have progressively realized my need to change my mindset of survival to finding peace, stability, and hope. I went to Thomas Merton and St. Teresa of Avila, my two go to’s when needing to be reminded of where to find God. As I read the words of this Trappist monk and Carmelite nun, it dawned on me that in midst of darkness, fear, and chaos, I have been given an opportunity to create an inner monastery. The lives of these monastic friends of mine shed light on three aspects that I trust and can incorporate into my social distanced day-to-day in order to give me peace and calm my anxieties.

• Routine: The search for a balanced life is one that exists outside of this creation of an inner monastery, but one I find harder now that my world resides within a 700ft apartment. This blending of worlds leads to the challenges of not working 13-hour days when not needed or not giving into responding to messages while I am streaming Mass, etc.  Joan Chittister writes that in Benedict's Rule, "All must be given its due, but only its due. There should be something of everything and not too much of anything." The wisdom of Saint Benedict sheds for us the light and truth that creating a balanced routine will be beneficial for mental health, productivity, and harmony. Creating this inner monastery must give due time to prayer, to work, to study, and to self.

 

• Contemplation:  St. Teresa of Avila defines contemplation as “nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us.”  During times of anxiety, my way to cope becomes creating lists and finding control. Many times, this crosses over to my prayer life. My prayer life becomes a checklist to appease God and find comfort in Scripture. Yet, during times of trial and tribulation, God asks us to bare our full selves to him. To sit with Him, our friend, and share these fears, anxieties, tribulations, and to take the time to hear His response and be reminded of His love.

 

• Hope: The news reports that there is no hope to be found and that darkness is all around us. Yet, our faith reminds us that Christ is our light and to have hope in all things. Merton emphasizes this in saying, “You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.” Faith in hope that resides in the walls of the monastery and the souls of mystics is needed now in our inner monasteries wherever we are. Hope that Christ will rise, hope that He will save, hope that we are not a people left alone.

 
I invite you to share in the wisdom of the monastics and find the opportunity during these challenging times to create within our homes and families an inner monastery. Fears, sickness and hardship won’t be removed, but the insights of our brothers and sisters who have lived this life before us can help us to “recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.”
 
If you find it helpful, here is my Inner Monastery Routine. Finding balance will look different for each person, so take what works for you and make adjustments to fit  your needs.

• 8:40am Liturgy of the Hours Morning Prayer
• 9:00am Live Stream Mass
• 9:30am - 12:30pm Work
• 12:30-1:30pm Lunch & Afternoon Rosary Walk
• 1:30-4:30pm Work
• 4:30pm: Check in with family and friends
• 6:00pm: Dinner
• 7:00pm: Contemplation
• 7:30pm: Time for self (Reading, time with friends and family, creative time, Tv, etc)
• 9:30pm: Night Prayer
• 10:00pm: Reading and Bed 

​

As a human race, we have entered uncharted waters and new territory as we struggle to continue our lives in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Many of us have attended to socially distancing ourselves, picking up essential items from the grocery store, and ensuring that our loved ones are safe and supported. As Catholics, we’ve found creative ways to gather to celebrate Mass and pray with others all over the nation and the world. However, in the midst of giving attention to all of these demands, we might forget to take care of one crucial thing in particular: our mental health.

As someone who lives with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues, I can confirm that the presence of coronavirus and the changes it has wrought in my daily life are making it particularly challenging to cope. I find myself with racing thoughts: When will this be over? Will my loved ones and I be protected? How much will this affect my finances? Where even is God in this? This is why I am particularly invested in my mental health right now: the challenges of the pandemic have the potential to trap me in an endless state of anxiety, panic, and depression. Although the pandemic presents me with challenging days ahead, I know that I can survive them by taking extra care of my mental health. 

To take a step back, why should mental health matter to us so much as Christians, especially now? First, mental health allows us to live in right relationship with ourselves, others, and God. By cultivating mental health, we can strengthen self-esteem, learn how to be a more compassionate friend or partner, or learn how our human experiences have affected our relationship with God. Second, focusing on our mental health allows us to be stewards of God’s creation, specifically good stewards of the body that God has created and given to us. Though we are living in a time of panic and uncertainty, we have agency and the ability to take care of ourselves in a way that allows us to continue the hard work of bringing forth the Kingdom of God, even in a pandemic. Third, focusing our efforts on our mental health is bound up in our pursuit of holiness. As we focus on mental health, we grow in self-awareness, communication, compassion, and moral judgement; in other words, we engage in formation that allows us to be a “bridge and not an obstacle” (Pastores Dabo Vobis, 43) to Jesus Christ in our own lives and the lives of others. In other words, intentionally focusing on our mental health during this challenging time is a way in which we can follow the command to “love the LORD, your God, with your whole heart, and with your whole being, and with your whole strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5).

In being intentional about my own mental health at this time, here are some thoughts and practices that I’ve found most helpful in coping with uncertainty, panic, anxiety, and depression:

• Self-awareness
  What are the habits and patterns that you operate on during challenging times or crises? Do you withdraw from others, don’t get enough to eat, or find it hard to do small, everyday tasks? What are the things that you need to feel grounded and calm? Getting to know yourself and your needs are a great first step to figuring out how to engage in practices that will help you cope during this time. 
  
  In times of difficulty and stress, I find that I often want to sleep more as a way to experience relief from the way that I’m feeling. However, too much sleep is harmful to my hope, drive, and well-being. So, in this time of the pandemic, I have adopted the practice of making a schedule for each day in the “notes” app on my phone. This allows me to know that there are responsibilities, tasks, and things to do the next day, and that I can’t allow myself to get lost in uncertainty. Additionally, I know that exercise is one of the most important coping methods for me to feel grounded and calm. In the last week, I’ve been intentional about moving my body for at least an hour a day.

 

• Support
  In this time, it is especially crucial to seek the support of others. Do you have an existing relationship with a therapist or mental health provider? Do you have access to resources to provide you with support?
  
  During this last week, I’ve been making my therapy appointments a main priority in both my budget and time. My therapist and I are able to meet via teletherapy during this time, and I know that most therapy practices are choosing the same option. The therapeutic relationship is not a mutual relationship where both parties are sharing their concerns and difficulties; rather, the therapist is exclusively focused on the client and therefore holds the space for them, not requiring the client to do the same. As the pandemic continues, I have shared my feelings with my friends and loved ones, and have allowed them to do the same. However, my weekly sessions with my therapist have allowed me to process my anxiety in an objective context where I don’t have to hold the space for someone else’s emotion surrounding the pandemic, or be cautious about how my anxiety might affect her. 
  
  If therapy is not a possibility for you right now, it may be helpful to consider your other options. Social media can be a helpful place to look for easy-to-access resources. Accounts on Instagram run by individual therapists or social workers, mental health clinics, or university counseling centers can be especially relevant and helpful. Some of my favorite accounts include @millennial.therapist, @lizlistens, and @catholicucounseling. They have been providing content especially on coping during coronavirus. While these resources are not a substitute for therapy, they can be an accessible place to get help. 

 

• Keeping promises to yourself
  ​With the help of my therapist and from my own self-reflection, I’ve been able to identify practices that have helped me to regulate my emotions each day. I’ve had to adjust my schedule and make time for new habits. To be honest, it’s difficult for me to be disciplined during such a difficult time, but a mindset that has been helpful for me in doing the hard work of keeping these habits is the need to keep promises to myself. In other words, each time I find myself putting off a helpful practice or feeling overwhelmed by the new changes I’ve had to make, I remind myself that I need to hold myself accountable. The difference between allowing myself to be completely overtaken by depression or anxiety is showing up for myself. A practical way that I keep in mind the importance of showing up for myself is to keep track of completing and engaging in the practices that support my mental health. I have used the app “Done” to track each habit, the amount of times a day I engage in that habit, and the overall amount of days in a row I have been able to keep that habit going. 

 

• Self-Compassion
  Though I’ve striven to make a few intentional changes to my life in order to cope with the challenges of coronavirus, I am not perfect. I, like many others who deal with mental health concerns in their daily life, have experienced moments of intense despair and panic over the past week. However, I am intentional to be self-compassionate. I acknowledge that, like everyone else in the human race right now, I have never had to exist during a pandemic before. I have no experience to draw on: I have never before been a student, co-worker, partner, or friend during a pandemic. Therefore, it’s been crucial for me to remind myself to be gentle with myself. I will make mistakes. I will get discouraged. However, being compassionate with myself allows me to continue with an attitude of hope, adaptability, and resilience.  

 
How can you engage in practices that cultivate your self-awareness this week? What/who are valuable resources of support? How do you feel that you need to show up for yourself this week? Where could you use some extra self-compassion in your life? Finally, how might being intentional about cultivating your mental health bring you into right relationship with yourself, others, and God during this time?
​

“Let us allow ourselves to be loved, so that we can give love in return. Let us allow ourselves to stand up and walk towards Easter. Then we will experience the joy of discovering how God raises us up from our ashes.” -Pope Francis (Ash Wednesday Homily, 2020)
 
Today is the Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord. Due to COVID-19, we might believe that we have returned to Ash Wednesday and everything is reduced to ash, even our practice of the faith. Our daily lives have changed or are changing in ways never seen before. But we Christians are people of hope. Hope in God who provides.
 
With the message of the Angel Gabriel that she had conceived the Son of God by the Holy Spirit, the life of the Blessed Virgin Mary changed in a way never known before or since. She trusted, in the love of God that is ever abiding. It gave her the strength to say yes in faith. Love and faith that bore hope, our Hope, Jesus Christ.
 
Our prayer and support for one another, especially in this challenging time, are ways in which we can show the love of Christ toward others, witness our faith, and live hope. In and through our hope in Christ, we at the Catholic Apostolate Center offer our prayers for you. Unprecedented things are happening. While we are being asked to physically stay apart, we can all be connected through technology, but also through the Holy Spirit who connects us all, especially in our prayer. There are many good opportunities to keep the flame of faith alive in our hearts, minds, and actions. The Center has compiled numerous ways to do so on a special resource page where we are also accepting prayer intentions.
 
Let us use this time as wisely as we can, whether together with our family or community or in personal reflection. Christ our hope is with us. We are called to follow the example of Mary and have trusting faith in him.
 
May the Charity of Christ urge us on!

To listen to this as a podcast, please click here.